“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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Picture of Wilson Mizner. Courtesy of the Benicia Historical Society, Benicia, California. This image is in the public domain in the United States as it was first published prior to January 1, 1923.

Six quotes by Wilson Mizner

Wilson 'Bill' Mizner (May 19, 1876, Benicia, California - April 3, 1933, Los Angeles, California) was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1912. He was manager and co-owner of The Brown Derby restaurant in Los Angeles, California, and was affiliated with his brother, Addison Mizner, in a series of scams and picaresque misadventures that inspired Stephen Sondheim's Road Show.
 Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. 
 Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. 
 God help those who do not help themselves. 
 There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton restless. 
 Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. 
 To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady. 

The author info and picture are from Wikipedia, licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License.