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❝My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white❞
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts


A cult becomes a religion when it stops killing its members and starts killing non-members.

A pious man is one who would be an atheist if the king were.
Jean de La Bruyère (1645-1696)

A religious conservative is a fanatic about a dead radical.

All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.
Stendhal (1783-1842)

Anyone who can turn water into wine is bound to have a following.

Avoid like the plague any clergymen who are also businessmen.
Jerome (c.347-420)

Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?
Jules Feiffer (1929- )

Don't give your money to the church; they should be giving their money to you.
George Carlin (1937-2008)

Faith is the belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

Faith is under the left nipple.
Martin Luther (1483-1546)

Hitchen's Razor: What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.
Christopher Hitchens (1949-2011)

I believe in the Lord's Prayer or a bottle of Jack Daniel's; whatever gets you through the night.
Frank Sinatra (1915-1998)

I stopped believing in god the day I saw lightning rods in the Vatican.

I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.
Terry Pratchett (1948-2004)

I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.
Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

I'm still an atheist, thank God.
Luis Buñuel (1900-1983)

If there is a god watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.
Francesco Caracciolo (1752-1799)

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
James Thurber (1894-1961)

It is characteristic of theistic 'tolerance' that no one really cares what the people believe in, just so they believe or pretend to believe.
Emma Goldman (1869-1940)

Living with a saint is more gruelling than being one.
Robert Neville (1408-1457)

Morality is doing right, no matter what you are told; religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered, but religion is answers that may never be questioned.

Politics and Religion are obsolete: the time has come for Science and Spirituality.
Jawaharlal Nehru (1889-1964)

Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it's the cyanide.
Tom Robbins (1936- )

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

The nearer the Church the further from God.
Lancelot Andrewes (1555-1626)

The world holds two classes of men: intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence.
al-Ma'arri (973-1057)

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

There was a time when religion ruled the world; it is known as the Dark Ages.
Ruth Green (1915-1981)

We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in; some of us just go one god further.
Richard Dawkins (1941- )

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

When the Europeans arrived, we had the land and they had the Bible. We closed our eyes to pray and when we opened them, they had the land and we had the Bible.
Desmond Tutu (1931-2021)

When we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're said to be schizophrenic.
Jane Wagner (1935- )

You make holy water by boiling the hell out of normal water.
Terry Pratchett (1948-2004)

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