“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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 0. There is a game. (consequence of zeroth law of thermodynamics)
1. You can't win. (consequence of first law of thermodynamics)
2. You can't break even. (consequence of second law of thermodynamics)
3. You can't even get out of the game. (consequence of third law of thermodynamics) 
 A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. 
 A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. 
 A reasonable probability is the only certainty. 
 All of science is nothing more than the refinement of everyday thinking. 
 All probabilities are 50%; either a thing will happen or it won't. 
 All science is either physics or stamp collecting. 
 All the effects of nature are only the mathematical consequence of a small number of immutable laws. 
 Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get very nervous and give the wrong answers. 
 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. 
 Art is I; science is we. 
 Astrology was invented so that Economics could become a science. 
 Biology grows on you. 
 Chemistry is physics without thought; mathematics is physics without purpose. 
 Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. 
 Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. 
 Entropy isn't what it used to be. 
 God is always invented to explain those things that you do not understand. 
 Heisenberg may have been here. 
 Human beings were invented by water as a device for transporting itself from one place to another. 
 I'm not smart, I try to observe: millions saw the apple fall but Newton was the one who asked why. 
 If scientists knew what they were doing, it wouldn't be called research. 
 If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will. 
 If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat. 
 In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake. 
 In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. 
 In the beginning there was nothing and then it exploded. 
 It has been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. 
 Klein bottle for rent. Inquire within. 
 No leg's too short to reach the ground. 
 Osborn's Law: Constants aren't; variables won't. 
 Politics and Religion are obsolete: the time has come for Science and Spirituality. 
 Research is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought. 
 Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts. 
 Scientific apparatus offers a window to knowledge, but as they grow more elaborate, scientists spend ever more time washing the windows. 
 The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship. 
 The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice. 
 The plural of anecdote is not data. 
 The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them. 
 There are more hydrogen atoms in a single molecule of water than there are stars in the entire Solar System. 
 There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about. 
 Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:
1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points. 
 We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankensteinian logic. 
 You make holy water by boiling the hell out of normal water.