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❝My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white❞
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts


Adults are obsolete children.
Dr Seuss (1904-1991)

All children are Atheists; they have no idea of God.
Baron d'Holbach (1723-1789)

All children are essentially criminals.
Denis Diderot (1713-1784)

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed.
Queen Victoria (1819-1901)

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.
Herbert Hoover (1874-1964)

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children may be obscene but not absurd.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
George Carlin (1937-2008)

Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.

Having children is hereditary, if your parents didn't have any, then you probably won't either.

Heartless Cynics' the young men shout,
Blind to the world of Fact without
W.H. Auden (1907-1973)

I never met a kid I liked.
W.C. Fields (1879-1946)

If you don't listen to the little things when they're little, they won't tell you the big things when they're big.

People talk vaguely about the innocence of a little child, but they take mighty good care not to let it out of their sight for twenty minutes.
H.H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

Television has changed a child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.
Laurence J. Peter (1919-1990)

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow (1857-1938)

The folly of youth is wasted on the young.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
Mona Crane

There are two classes of travel: first class, and with children.
Robert Benchley (1889-1945)

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)

Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now?
Alan Bennett (1934- )

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
P.J. O'Rourke (1947- )

Youth is such a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

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