“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python
Computers
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Mitch Ratliffe A country's constitution is only a local ordinance in cyberspace.
Tim May A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom.
Anonymous Anyone who has lost track of time when using a computer knows the propensity to dream, the urge to make dreams come true and the tendency to miss lunch.
Tim Berners-Lee (1955- ) Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
Anonymous Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies.
Anonymous As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Anonymous As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
Anonymous Astronauts use Linux because you can't open Windows in space.
Anonymous At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
Anonymous British websites uses biscuits instead of cookies.
Anonymous Buses stop at bus stations, trains at train stations, and my desk has a workstation.
Anonymous By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've learned something about it yourself.
Douglas Adams (1952-2001) Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
Anonymous Computers are not intelligent: they only think they are.
Anonymous Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Los ordenadores son inútiles. Sólo pueden darte respuestas.
Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Computers follow your orders, not your intentions.
Anonymous Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Anonymous Don't anthropomorphise computers: they hate that.
Anonymous Hardware is the part of a computer system that can be kicked and software is the part that can only be screamed at.
Anonymous I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating system, and possibly program, of all time.
Bill Gates (1955- ) I really hate this damned machine
I wish they would sell it.
It never does quite what I want
But only what I tell it.
Anonymous If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.
Anonymous In an open source world without walls and fences we don't need Windows and Gates.
Anonymous Is a 5.25 floppy better than a 3.5 hard?
Anonymous It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
Anonymous Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.
Anonymous Linux: because rebooting is for adding new hardware.
Anonymous Never allow a computer to know you're in a hurry.
Anonymous Never trust a computer bigger than you can lift.
Anonymous Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
Andy Tanenbaum (1944- ) Osborn's Law: Constants aren't; variables won't.
Anonymous Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand.
Archibald Putt RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
Anonymous Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF
Anonymous Smith & Wesson had the original point and click interface.
Anonymous The Internet is proof that a million monkeys with a million typewriters can't write Hamlet.
Robert Wilensky The next generation of interesting software will be done on the Macintosh, not the IBM PC.
Bill Gates (1955- ) The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Edsger Dijkstra (1930-2002) There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
Anonymous To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Anonymous
