“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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 A fate worse than death is better than dying. 
 A philosophical contempt of life is no guarantee of courage in the face of death. 
 Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me. 
 Biography lends to death a new terror. 
 Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. 
 Death is nature's way of saying, 'You can let go of your ankles now'. 
 Death is part of this life and not of the next. 
 Death must be distinguished from dying, with which it is often confused. 
 Elvis rocks in his box. 
 Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral. 
 Fish die belly-upward and rise to the surface; it is their way of falling. 
 Halitosis is better than no breath at all. 
 Hatless, I take off
My bicycle clips in awkward reverence. 
 He had decided to live on forever or die in the attempt. 
 I am still of opinion that only two topics can be of the least interest to a serious and studious mood: sex and the dead. 
 I believe there would be people alive today if there were a death penalty. 
 I detest life-insurance agents; they argue that some day I shall die, which is not so. 
 I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise. 
 I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure. 
 I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning. 
 If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead? 
 In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes. 
 It's not a thing to do while one is not in one's best mind; never kill yourself while you are suicidal. 
 It's not the fall that kills you but the sudden stop at the end. 
 Men live as if they were never going to die, and die as if they had never lived. 
 No hero is mortal until he dies. 
 No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away… The span of someone's life is only the core of their actual existence. 
 No one owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death. 
 Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds. 
 One day someone will think about you for the last time and you will be forgotten by the world and the universe. 
 People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. 
 Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You may as well live 
 Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 
 Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. 
 The best way to get praise is to die. 
 The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 
 The first condition of immortality is death. 
 The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule begins. 
Tyrannen dør, og hans magt har ende. Martyren dør, og hans magt begynder.
 There is no need for signposts in the journey of life since the destination is always the same. 
 There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating. 
 Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. 
 Where are you dying tonight? 
 Where there's a will, there's a law suit. 
 While other people's deaths are deeply sad, one's own is surely a bit of a joke.