Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts

Deep Thoughts

'Onomatopoeia' is spelled the way it sounds.
Anonymous

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
Anonymous

A day without sunshine is like night.
Anonymous

A good hiding place is hard to find.
Anonymous

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
Laozi (?-c500 BCE)

All that is gold does not glitter; nor all those that wander are lost.
J.R.R. Tolkien (1892-1973)

Arguments with furniture are rarely productive.
Kehlog Albran

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
Tom Lehrer (1928- )

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

Cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny.
Anonymous

Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
Terry Pratchett (1948-2004)

Confusion never reigns but it pours.
Anonymous

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Anonymous

For a string to have one end it must have another.
Anonymous

Geography is everywhere.
Anonymous

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
Anonymous

Great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.
Chinese proverb

How can you know what you think until you open your mouth and hear what you say?
Anonymous

Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
Anonymous

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.
Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
Anonymous

I used to be conceited, but now I'm absolutely perfect.
Anonymous

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Anonymous

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Anonymous

I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.
Anonymous

I'm sorry I wrote you such a long letter; I didn't have time to write you a shorter one.
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be so simple we couldn't.
David Zindell (1952- )

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you achieved?
Anonymous

Ignorance is the mother of admiration.
George Chapman (1559?-1634)

In an infinite universe, every point in space-time is the center.
David Zindell (1952- )

In each of us there is a little of all of us.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

In the beginning was the word. And the word was 'Aardvark'.
Anonymous

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music.
Frank Zappa (1940-1993)

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Anonymous

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
Eugène Ionesco (1909-1994)

It isn't what people think that's important, but the reason they think what they think.
Eugène Ionesco (1909-1994)

It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Anonymous

It was such a lovely day I thought it was a pity to get up.
Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Steven Wright (1955- )

It's always room-temperature.
Anonymous

It's not too far; it just seems like it is.
Anonymous

Lazy people have no spare time.
Anonymous

My shallowness is only skin deep.
Tom MacRae (1980- )

Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.
Chinese proverb

Never trust a man who, when left alone with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on.
Billy Connolly (1942- )

Never trust anybody who says trust me.
Anonymous

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.
E.E. Cummings (1894-1962)

Not enough is done for the apathetic.
Anonymous

Nothing starts with the letter “n” and nothing ends with the letter “g”.
Anonymous

Nothing, like something, happens anywhere.
Philip Larkin (1922-1985)

One hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
Anonymous

One match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.
Anonymous

Only dead fish swim with the stream.
Malcom Muggeridge (1903-1990)

Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.
Anonymous

Segal's Law: A man with a watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never sure.
Anonymous

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Sick yaks leave light tracks.
Anonymous

So near and yet so what?
Anonymous

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.
William Gunning King (1859-1940)

Suns are extinguished or become corrupted, planets perish and scatter across the wastes of the sky; other suns are kindled, new planets formed to make their revolutions or describe new orbits, and man, an infinitely minute part of a globe which itself is only an imperceptible point in the immense whole, believes that the universe is made for himself.
Baron d'Holbach (1723-1789)

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.
Anonymous

The information you have is not the information you want; the information you want is not the information you need; the information you need is not what you can get or is not known; the information that is known can't be found in time.
Anonymous

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
Anonymous

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Paul Fix (1901-1983)

The River of Ignorance covers most of my regrets.
Kehlog Albran

The superfluous is very necessary.
Voltaire (1694-1778)

The tire is only flat on the bottom.
Anonymous

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
Werner Heisenberg (1901-1976)

While chain swings, seat is warm.
Anonymous

Whither atrophy?
Anonymous

Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

Why is there is only one Monopolies Commission?
Anonymous

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...
Hughes Mearns (1875-1965)

You are never alone with a clone.
Anonymous