66Quote99
“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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Food

 A good hot dog feeds the hand that bites it. 
 A gourmet who counts calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. 
 A meal without wine is called a commuter's breakfast. 
 A sandwich is an unsuccessful attempt to make both ends meat. 
 A sweet tooth is a danger signal that you're getting too much exercise and not enough cocktails. 
 A waist is a terrible thing to mind. 
 A yawn is a silent scream for coffee. 
 All mushrooms are edible, some more than once. 
 An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away. 
 Bananas without a 'B' are pineapples. 
 Be a safe eater and always use a condiment. 
 Cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny. 
 Cooking is a minor art; I can't imagine a hilarious soufflé, or a deeply moving stew. 
 Cows are vegetarian so you don't have to be. 
 Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. 
 Everything you see I owe to spaghetti. 
 Fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives. 
 First comes a full stomach, then comes ethics. 
Erst kommt das Fressen, dann kommt die Moral.
 Food is an important part of a balanced diet. 
 He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. 
 Health food is anything you eat before the expiry date. 
 I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. 
 I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it. 
 I eat merely to put food out of my mind. 
 I'm a man more dined against than dining. 
 I'm on a seafood diet; I see food and I eat it. 
 If I had some eggs I'd have some eggs and ham, if I had some ham. 
 If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? 
 In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. 
 Never eat anything bigger than your head. 
 Never serve oysters during a month that has no paycheck in it. 
 Only Irish Coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. 
 People who love sausage and people who believe in justice should never watch either of them being made. 
 Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. 
 Square meals often make round people. 
 The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 
 There is no sincerer love than the love of food. 
 Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it's apt to give a person wind and self-righteousness. 
 We didn't fight our way to the top of the food chain just to be vegetarians. 
 We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police. 
 What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? 
 You are where you eat.