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❝My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white❞
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts


A conservative is a politician who wants to keep what the liberals fought for a generation ago.

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

A handful of soldiers is always better than a mouthful of arguments.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

A liberal is a conservative who has gone to jail, and a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged.

A liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist, and too rich to be a communist.

A liberal thinks that goats are just sheep from broken homes.

An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.
Simon Cameron (1799-1889)

Banana Republic Constitution: Prohibido todo lo que no sea obligatorio.

Bread is the staff of life; toast a decadent capitalist luxury.

Congressmen are the finest body of men money can buy.

Conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. The facts work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.
E.B. White (1899-1985)

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

Democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.
Isaac Asimov (1920-1997)

Don't vote, it only encourages them.

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind the slime of a new bureaucracy.
Franz Kafka (1883-1924)

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Freedom is not free.

I am a Tory Anarchist; I should like every one to go about doing just as he pleased - short of altering any of the things to which I have grown accustomed.
Max Beerbohm (1872-1956)

I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

I must follow them. I am their leader.
Bonar Law (1858-1923)

If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
Anatole France (1844-1924)

If I were two-faced would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
Emma Goldman (1869-1940)

In a mature society, 'civil servant' is semantically equal to 'civil master'.
Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988)

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.
Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Niccolò Machiavelli (1469-1527)

It's not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting.
Tom Stoppard (1937- )

Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad name.
Henry Kissinger (1923- )

Not to be a republican at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head.
François Guizot (1787-1874)

Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.
John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)

One fifth of the people are against everything all the time.
Robert Kennedy (1925-1968)

People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
Scott Adams (1957- )

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

Politicians are like nappies, they should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Ken Dodd (1927-2018)

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river.
Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971)

Politics and Religion are obsolete: the time has come for Science and Spirituality.
Jawaharlal Nehru (1889-1964)

Politics is like being a football coach. You've got to be smart enough to play the game and dumb enough to think it is important.
Eugene McCarthy (1916-2005)

Politics is the art of the possible.
Otto von Bismarck (1815-1898)

Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Henry Kissinger (1923- )

Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.

Taxes are not raised for the benefit of the taxed.
Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988)

That is the nature of politics: poly, meaning more than one, and ticks, meaning blood-sucking parasites.
Kinky Friedman (1944- )

The supply of government exceeds the demand.

The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule begins.
Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

Though liberals do a great deal of talking about hearing other points of view, it sometimes shocks them to learn that there are other points of view.
William F. Buckley, Jr. (1925-2008)

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns (1896-1996)

Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing.
Bernard Baruch (1870-1965)

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

What luck for rulers that men do not think.
Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

When a country is well governed, poverty and a mean condition are things to be ashamed of. When a country is ill governed, riches and honour are things to be ashamed of.
Confucius (551 BCE-479 BCE)

Why is it the Mongols of this world always tell us they're defending us against the Mongols?
Edward Whittemore (1933-1995)

You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long.
Boris Yeltsin (1931-2007)

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