“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python
Science
0. There is a game.
(consequence of zeroth law of thermodynamics)
1. You can't win.
(consequence of first law of thermodynamics)
2. You can't break even.
(consequence of second law of thermodynamics)
3. You can't even get out of the game.
(consequence of third law of thermodynamics)
C.P. Snow (1905-1980) A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Anonymous All probabilities are 50%; either a thing will happen or it won't.
Anonymous Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get very nervous and give the wrong answers.
Anonymous Astrology was invented so that Economics could become a science.
Anonymous Chemistry is physics without thought; mathematics is physics without purpose.
Anonymous Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
Anonymous Human beings were invented by water as a device for transporting itself from one place to another.
Tom Robbins (1936- ) If scientists knew what they were doing, it wouldn't be called research.
Anonymous If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.
Anonymous If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.
Douglas Adams (1952-2001) In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
Anonymous In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Paul Dirac (1902-1984) In the beginning there was nothing and then it exploded.
Anonymous It has been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Anonymous Klein bottle for rent. Inquire within.
Anonymous No leg's too short to reach the ground.
Anonymous Osborn's Law: Constants aren't; variables won't.
Anonymous Scientific apparatus offers a window to knowledge, but as they grow more elaborate, scientists spend ever more time washing the windows.
Isaac Asimov (1920-1997) The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship.
Anonymous The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.
Anonymous The plural of anecdote is not data.
Anonymous There are more hydrogen atoms in a single molecule of water than there are stars in the entire Solar System.
Anonymous There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
Anonymous Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:
1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.
Anonymous We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankensteinian logic.
Anonymous
